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Written by Nikki True
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Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we try to deceive. In today's society we live by the more is better attitude. More food, more technology, and yes more relationships. For some men one is never enough. They may have a great woman at home but still have to see what else is out there. While I don't condone cheating I will say most men are too dumb to have a "I won't get caught" plan to cheat in the first place. I know you're reading this saying "Not me, my game is tight"...hmmm let me challenge that. I'm going to tell YOU why you're too dumb to cheat!
Some people are good at lying. They go on to become lawyers or do PR for the Kardashian family. You on the other hand can not get away with anything.
You're a horrible liar! You never have your story straight. You say you're going to go play some hoops with your guys and will be back around eight, you stroll in at 11 and when she asks "where have you been?", you say "UHHHH WELL". Stop! You're busted! Some people are good at lying. They go on to become lawyers or do PR for the Kardashian family. You on the other hand can not get away with anything. To cheat you must have a plan B, C and D. Yet your plan A has more holes in it than swiss cheese. And, you don't make sure everyone is in on your story. Nothing is more embarrassing than your girl calling your friends asking when the game was over and they say "what game"? Unless you can convince a jury that the glove doesn't fit, you shouldn't cheat.
You treat your jumpoff like a wife! In a cheating situation the other woman shouldn't have much say in what you do, where you go, or who is involved once you leave her sight. Yet many men treat their other woman like she is the only woman. When you don't define the roles within the affair things will get out of hand. Soon she is telling you not to sleep with your girl, what friends she hates, and then some. She might eventually call your girl, then you will be in a world of 'hella trouble! I'm not saying to mistreat your other woman, but you need to set boundaries and guidelines within the cheating. If she knows more than two of your friends you are not cut out for cheating. If she knows where you live you are horrible at cheating! You must keep your distance and certain feelings at bay. If you wear your heart on your sleeve with every woman you come in contact with then please go home to your girl and declare monogamy!
An exposed affair is one inbox message away....it's best you put that cheating energy into working out your relationship and making it stronger.Cheating isn't for the stupid, weak, or faint of heart. You have to strategically plan and perfectly execute your every move to make your game full proof. It's not like back in the day when men had whole families on the other side of town. Big Mama didn't have facebook and GPS to catch pops slipping. Now an exposed affair is one inbox message away. Add-on the 2 factors I mentioned and it's best you put that cheating energy into working out your relationship and making it stronger. I bet if you actually talked to your girl about the things that are making you want to stray she will try to work on them. So I say this in love...YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO CHEAT! STAY FAITHFUL!
Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we try to deceive. In today's society we live by the more is better attitude. More food, more technology, and yes more relationships. For some men one is never enough. They may have a great woman at home but still have to see what else is out there. While I don't condone cheating I will say most men are too dumb to have a "I won't get caught" plan in the first place. I know you're reading this saying "Not me, my game is tight"...hmmm let me challenge that. I'm going to tell YOU why you're too dumb to cheat!
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Written by G. Anthony Knowles
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Love and lust are the two most misdiagnosed concepts we confront in our daily lives. This is because most people long for love yet end up intertwined in a heated lust filled liaison generously masking itself as a meaningful relationship. These misinformed decisions are made because oftentimes people easily accept acts of affection and interest as benign actions of pure innocence. The reality is that most gender responses towards you are not love preludes but instead they are lustful grabs at your attractive fruit. Given this reality, it's important to wait for someone's true intentions to unfold before you commit your heart, soul and most importantly, your body.
The wait for love is difficult because we are inundated with masses of literature; countless works of art and scores of music about love that it makes you long for it even more. However, if we carefully examine these works of art, we will see that most of them are actually lustful temptations aimed at enticing carnal senses.
At its core, love is mainly a spiritual and mental feeling. It’s a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. It creates a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep care like a parent to a child, a sister to a brother or kindred bond shared between true friends.
Only after an innocent connection is built between two people who are attracted to one another should they explore sexual relations as a beautiful next step. The key is that the sexual component to their relationship is not a requirement; but a natural progression if the partners’ involved feel inclined to pursue it. True love requires discipline and commitment and is never selfish or jealous. This love is focused on the growth, improvement and comfort of the person who is the object of your love.
On the other hand, lust is an intense sexual desire or appetite for another person. If you have someone that gives you an uncontrolled or illicit yearning to release your sexual cravings on them, you’re motivated by lust. Your lust drives a passionate and overmastering hunger to touch them, taste them and ultimately fuck them. Your lust for the person is about pleasure or delight not chemistry or openness. Your not concerned about their inner most thoughts and real life circumstance. In lust, you’re undisciplined. Your energy is focused on the person who is the object of your desire and they are a utility to be discarded once the purpose of self-satisfaction is fulfilled. They are a tool… and your desire for orgasm is the task at hand. If both participants feel the same way then by all means…enjoy yourselves. However, if one of you mistakes lust filled sexual connections as a tasty element of a loving meaningful relationship, then you are wrong…very wrong and someone will get hurt.
Can I have both? I want love and lust...in my relationship!
As you read this article, you are probably evaluating your relationship to assess the nature of it. It’s possible that you are angered at my description of (love & lust) if you find yourself in a group that does not align with the lie you’ve been living. However, the truth is, you can have it both ways. Love and lust are not like oil and water. They can mix perfectly and they should. The result is an explosive meaningful relationship with deep connections and countless orgasms.
How should I proceed?
Check your relationship and determine what you truly have. Once you accept the true nature of your relationship, only then can you decide which direction you want to pursue. If you determine that what you have is true love, then make him or her the object of your sexual impulses. You and your lover should explore every erotic and restricted area of your mind and vice versa. If that person is truly your soulmate they will respond with equal sexual vigor.
The key is to make sure that--that person deserves the freak that lies within you. Once they’ve proven themselves to be “in it” for the right reasons, then allow them “in it” for all the naughty reasons. A true soulmate will not judge you for your kinky turn-ons nor deny you access to theirs. That’s because true “partners” share with one another without fear of ridicule or judgment.
Together, you can now begin a loving and lust filled journey throughout life.
Happy Travels!
Love and lust are the two most misdiagnosed concepts we confront in our daily lives. This is because most people long for love yet end up intertwined in a heated lust filled liaison generously masking itself as a meaningful relationship. These misinformed decisions are made because oftentimes people easily accept acts of affection and interest as benign actions of pure innocence. The reality is that most gender responses towards you are not love preludes but instead they are lustful grabs at your attractive fruit. Given this reality, it's important to wait for someone's true intentions to unfold before you commit your heart, soul and most importantly, your body.
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Written by David Asbery
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Researchers, policy makers, and the general public are interested in the demographical characteristics of events such as marriage and divorce. Part of this stems from the fact that men and women in the southern United States have the highest divorce rates in the country (U.S. Bureau of Census 2009). As these numbers continue to increase, legal and social policies with respect to the institution of marriage and the institution of divorce have caused a sense of uncertainty with researchers, policy makers, judges and the general public.
On one hand, Americans continue to marry in large numbers. It is estimated that 85% of adults will marry at some point in their lives (Bachrach, Hindin, and Thomas, 2002; Popenoe and Whitehead, 2004). On the other hand, it is estimated that fifty percent of marriages will end in divorce and 20% are terminated within the first five years (Bramlett and Mosher, 2002). With the current policies and simplistic laws that enable couples to marry, it is no surprise that professionals, religious, judicial, and governmental agencies are looking for ways to strengthen marital relationships and promote the institution of marriage (Gallagher, 2000).
Of the 50 states, 49 require that the couple be 18 years of age, that they have two forms of identification and that they pay a nominal fee for the marriage license. In contrast, to obtain a driver’s license much of the same is required. However, in many states, candidates must study and pass a written test. In addition, all candidates must take a physical test. It is here that one must pose the following questions: Why have we made it hard to obtain a driver’s license and so easy to obtain a marriage license? Should states require its citizens to take mandatory premarital education classes? Does it make sense that someone as young as 18 years of age can get married without any knowledge of what it takes to make a marriage work?
For centuries, the United States Government has placed complete trust by giving each citizen, with aspirations to marry, the freedom to employ love, emotions, money, religion, values, as prerequisites to marriage. Moreover, the government has given each state jurisdiction over the laws and premarital procedures. In return, its citizens continue to deliver dismal results. According to the 2009 U.S. Census the frequency for divorce in the United States remains higher than the divorce rates in most European countries.
The United States is a country that solves problems by enforcing tough behavioral changing policies. Problems that have the potential of causing physical and psychological damage are remedied. In short, it there’s a wrong, the Federal Government and/or the States will attempt to make it right.
With respect to the marriage and the divorce laws and the state’s judicial power over these laws, it is obvious to me that a governmental intervention is needed. I propose that on the federal level, an amendment be made to the United States Constitution that would require every individual (that aspires to marry) to take 40 hours of mandatory premarital education classes. The classes will focus on issues of compatibility, expectations, personalities and family conflicts, communication, conflict resolution, intimacy and sexuality, and long-term financial goal setting.
Here is where I am suppose to bore you with statistical data that states that premarital education "is associated with higher levels of marital satisfaction, lower levels of destructive conflicts and higher levels of interpersonal commitment to spouses, (Journal of Family Psychology) and how based on a random phone survey of 3,344 adults in four states, couples who received 20 hours of premarital education had a 31% lower chance of divorce. Instead of following the golden rule of chasing the data, I would rather appeal to what simply makes sense. The current state policies have allowed its citizens to make a mockery of marriage. From $89.00 speedy drive thru weddings in Las Vegas (i.e. Tunnel of Love) to Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries 72 day hoax, we the citizens of the United States have turned the marriage covenant into a bad reality show. My proposed mandatory 40 hours of premarital education will not stop the Dennis Rodman’s and the Kim Kardashians’ of the world, but for the people that marry for love, for commitment, for family, for real, 40 hours of premarital education will provide them with the relationship tools that they need to sustain a healthy marriage.
David Asbery has a new book out entitled: My Wife, My Kids, My God! For more information visit him at www.davidleeshow.net.
Researchers, policy makers, and the general public are interested in the demographical characteristics of events such as marriage and divorce. Part of this stems from the fact that men and women in the southern United States have the highest divorce rates in the country (U.S. Bureau of Census 2009). As these numbers continue to increase, legal and social policies with respect to the institution of marriage and the institution of divorce have caused a sense of uncertainty with researchers, policy makers, judges and the general public.
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Written by Candice Preau
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The idea of finding true love is quickly vanishing from the expectations of many modern women. The Cinderella story has always been every little girl's romantic desire. Seemingly, the institution of marriage has become decreasingly common among couples. College-aged women are more focused on becoming career women, as that is more realistic than becoming wives and mothers. It’s as if marriage is becoming taboo, and more couples are opting for the life-long single life, open relationships or domestic partnerships over getting married.
I remember my father reading me stories such as The Princess and the Pea, Snow White and Cinderella as a little girl, and having visions in my head of princes and knights in shining armor rescuing a damsel in distress. Today the equivalent of a prince in fairy tales would be a gentleman with traditional values of treating a lady like a lady, owning up to his role of being a man and what that means in terms of family, respecting and placing his wife and family only after God, and having the ability to provide a comfortable life for his family. Even though the concept of a prince has evolved from a savior on a beautiful white horse to a man with a job and a clean record; a prince in our age is still hoped for, sought after and a dream come true.
I remember thinking that as I grew old, which in a 5 year old girl's mind is at about the age of 20, I would also meet a prince who would ride into the city on a beautiful white horse, and carry me away to his palace to live...that’s right, happily ever after. As I graduated high school, then graduated college, and then got out into the working world, reality began to hit. I saw more and more beautiful young women, especially Black women, as single women or single mothers. I wondered why so many beautiful, intelligent Black women on their way to success were struggling with finding their Mr. Right? I observed how Black women of a certain age who were tired of waiting began to seek out Mr. Right Now’s until Mr. Right showed. Sometimes their Mr. Right Now’s, though not fully equipped to care for a family, become their children's fathers or "baby’s daddy". This leaves these women with the title of "single mother".
I began to get saddened about this state of my beautiful Black sisters, and as I looked more statistics I realized that there are more single women compared to single men. We can argue the many factors that have caused this rift in our population, but simply put, many women will live lives having never been married. According to a recent Yale study, 42 percent of African-American women have yet to be married, compared to only 23 percent of white women. There's also a gap in numbers. The 2000 U.S. Census counted 1.8 million more African-American women than African-American men. (ABC Nightline News) Should mothers stop telling their daughters these tails of princes and happily ever afters? Should they now set their expectations to not expect true love or finding a Mr. Right? The thought is so dismal.
Every woman that I know ranks the movie Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts as one of their all time favorite movies. Even the most feminist, independent woman alive, enjoys a good romance novel or film in which the woman meets the man of her dreams and they live happily ever after. Another movie that almost every woman I meet falls in love with instantly is the movie The Notebook. The common denominator between the two movies is that a woman realizes in the end that she truly loves and doesn't want to live without this man that came into her life. A prince isn't always a man with the biggest house, most expensive car, and most handsome body. Sometimes a prince is the person that comes into your life at just the right time. In the Notebook, her prince wasn’t the wealthy man she was going to marry, but he was her true soul-mate. In Pretty Woman, Richard Gere was the prince, and he happened to be rich and good looking, but overall he was the man who Julia Roberts truly fell in love with, despite trying very hard not to, and couldn’t live without.
Ask any woman to truly be honest with you, and she will tell you if single that she is praying for her king to appear, but in the meantime she is being a self-sufficient queen. Sometimes I ask myself if the Cinderella story has died. If it has died, is there any hope for it being raised from the dead? Can it rattle its grave, shake off its zombie appearance and become the beautiful romantic ideal that women have treasured for ages? For those of us in our 20's and early 30's, has true, unconditional, everlasting love ended in our grandparent's generation? Remember the days when it was common to find people celebrating their 20, 30, 40 year anniversary and more? How often do we hear about even 10 year anniversaries today? Again, the thought is so dismal.
Evolution is a natural occurrence with time. Along with evolution comes adaptation. Adaptation is physical, mental and emotional. Many of my friends today aren’t in a rush to get married. They are placing their career paths ahead of settling with just anybody. They refuse to give up on their ideals of who their prince is in their minds, especially if the man in their lives isn’t financially prepared to put on the whole armor of taking care of his family. In my opinion, I think everyone has their idea of romance. I admire my parents’ marriage of 31 years, and have witnessed true unconditional love in action. However, I know the reality is that many people my age haven’t had the opportunity to witness that. Because I have witnessed that, it’s very hard for me to completely let go of the Cinderella story.
My advice to young African American mothers (as if I have the right to give advice) is to raise your daughters with a strong sense of self-awareness and self-esteem. Every mother should follow suit, but because the plight of loneliness has struck the African American female community especially hard, it’s important for young Black girls to have a strong sense of self-worth. Your price tag is more than that Louis Vuitton bag that man wants you to trick for. You're worth more than those Giuseppe Zanotti shoes that a married man will buy you to be his sugar baby or side piece. Once a woman knows her value, she’s content in being self-sufficient royalty until she meets her match. Women have so many more options than they did in the days of our grandparents, so there’s no need to rush! We party as long as we want, and if we lose our glass slipper we go to Neiman’s and buy another one! Cash not charge. So keep your heads up and wear your crown proudly, as you are royalty single or not.
The idea of finding true love is quickly vanishing from the expectations of many modern women. The Cinderella story has always been every little girl's romantic desire. Seemingly, the institution of marriage has become decreasingly common among couples. College-aged women are more focused on becoming career women, as that is more realistic than becoming wives and mothers. It’s as if marriage is becoming taboo, and more couples are opting for the life-long single life, open relationships or domestic partnerships over getting married.
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Written by Veralyn Williams
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Before seeing clips from BIDEOLOGY, a documentary that asks women if they would date a bisexual man, I never considered how I would respond if a man I wanted to date revealed that to me. I never really considered a man being bisexual at all--women, of course--but a man? Never!
Apparently, I wasn't the only one who thought that way...
A 2005 study by Northwestern University concluded, “with respect to sexual arousal and attraction, it remains to be shown that male bisexuality exists.” Fortunately, recent research did the trick and the existence of bisexual men is now scientifically proven! According to the New York Times, another Northwestern study, in a complete turnabout from their 2005 study, “found evidence that at least some men who identify themselves as bisexual are, in fact, sexually aroused by both women and men.” Anyway, all this inspired me to get my own answers about what's up with this double-standard that says only women can be bisexual. Here's what I heard:
Before seeing clips from BIDEOLOGY, a documentary that asks women if they would date a bisexual man, I never considered how I would respond if a man I wanted to date revealed to me that he was a bisexual. I never really considered a man being bisexual at all--women, of course--but a man? Never! Apparently, I wasn't the only one who thought that way...
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Spotlight Feature
Every year around this time music lovers start to anticipate what will be the ill-est sound, dopest verse, and sexiest performer for the rest of the year. So I’d like to officially announce my vote for the category of hottest new rapper to hit the scene. I know, it may seem a bit premature given that new artist pop up every day but New York born lyricist, Yung Nate has been steadily working behind the mic releasing several smash singles and penning future classics for other artists alike. With a down to earth and relatable swag as the forefront of his talented persona, underneath lies a strong ambition to express his love for music, being exactly who he is and sharing that with his fans. Check out the dialogue below for more on his latest album Meant to Be Broken and his plans for changing the art of rapping as we know it
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Magazine Writers
 Alexander CroftBorn in Atlanta, Croft grew up in Columbus, Ohio, graduating from Ohio State. He's been writing hisentire...Read more >> Herina AyotHerina Ayot is a graduate of New York University with a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and minor in...Read more >> Patrick MoodyPat Moody, 24, is a writer out of CT. With a deep love and appreciation for music, he has been a contributor...Read more >> Alan VerlyAlan Verly, 24 years old is from Cambridge, Massachusetts. A recent college graduate, Verly has written...Read more >> Devin CobbsA young entrepreneur at heart, Eighteen year old Journalist/Poet by the name Of Devin Cobbs. Writing...Read more >> Joel JacksonJoel was born and raised in Memphis, TN, and grew up watching sports of all kinds, including golf, tennis,...Read more >>
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